“It feels like I’m drowning”
“I can’t see how it is going to get better”
“When are these feelings going to end?”
For myself and all my friends who have ever felt like they don’t do enough, maybe drowning, or simply don’t know how it’s all going to work out. (You know who you are).
You are enough simply breathing.
We live in a fast world, with fast cars, and fast amazon shipping, but I believe you control the speed. Our culture is steeped in going, doing, success, family, and production. I can’t tell you how often I feel like a failure, or how I don’t do enough. Maybe the term you use is drowning. Maybe you feel anxiously overwhelmed. All of these emotions are warranted and they belong in this world. Let me say that again, all of those emotions have a place and they belong in this world (Unlike cats). They have a place. I believe they belong in the category of warning signs. These feelings are great thermometer to how you may need to take a step back, rest, and take a quick pause. Remember what is important in your world. Are you breathing? Are you alive? Did you eat your last meal? Can you sleep under a roof tonight?
What would happen if you stopped? What would happen if you took a day to rest? What would your life be like if you didn’t answer your phone for a day? One day?
If you’re like me, you day dream of a new job. A job in which you can shut off when you clock out. A job that requires little to know stress or personal touch. A job you don’t think about a thousand times a second. A job that closely resembles the United States Postal Service… My dream in life is to own a crisp beautiful brown UPS outfit.
But that isn’t me.
I grew up in a single parent house hold, and my parents never taught me to simply be. I was always enrolled in sports, extra sports on top of the sports, and boy scouts. I had something to go to every night of the week. I was not taught how to rest. I’m not sure many of us were taught that. There is little to no value on rest, and you can see it online.
Have you ever asked someone about their vacation? It usually goes like this.
“Man your trip to Hawaii looked great!” (Cuz we already saw the pics posted)
“Ya, well me and Cynthia saved our sick days for two years, we had a groupon and our boss made us take the time off” … We justify our rest. We make excuses for taking a break and loving ourselves. Its scary how we do this in almost every aspect of our lives. If we own anything nice, we justify it. “Well I got it at the REI garage sale for 20$”… I like your jacket you don’t need to defend it!
In elementary school you are asked, “What do you want to do when you grow up?”
In Jr. High you are asked what sports are you going to do.
In high school you are asked what college you are going to, and what major are you going to do?
In college your asked what are you going to do with your life.
And then in life you’re asked…. What do you do?
(Pause, literally writing this a UPS man walked through my Starbuck’s doors wearing the COOLEST brown jacket… what the heck). (un pause).
If you were to say human, it wouldn’t go over well.
“What do you do?” asked Jeremy.
“Oh me, I human” said Trevor with an inquisitive look upon my face.
This isn’t to say we all need to sit around watching Netflix and binge watch all of Game of Thrones in one afternoon…. Who would do that… But it does mean this.
When you are alone, laying in your bed, who are you? In your core, the inner most being of who you are, who are you? Are you a man, a woman, or simply just a human trying to figure it all out. Deep in your gut, who are you?
You are loved. You are liked. And you are not your mistakes, failures, unread emails, unopened mail, unpaid bills, likes or lack of likes, and so much more. There is a deep spirit in the universe that will reveal to you the truth. It takes time to stop and listen. You and I are. We just are.
I tell myself these Mantras almost every hour of the day.
Take a deep breath, hold it in, let it out, and repeat.
“You are enough”
“You have what it takes”
“You are learning and growing”
“You are enough”, and breath.
We came in this world with a breath, and with a breath we shall leave. You and I are humans and this world will continue without you, and it is better with you. There is no amount of work that will make me think you are better or worse. There are no deadlines that make you good or bad. Let’s do our part and realize the depth of our humanity.
(Seriously the guy in the UPS jacket is simply rubbing it in at this point) … (I definitely would be a better human if I owned his outfit).