I’m a terrible coach
I will probably always be a terrible coach.
I am not motivated by people yelling at me. I don’t want to win if you scream about all the things I do wrong. I usually do not like barking dogs, and I really do not like barking humans. Not sure if I am stubborn, but we can chalk it up to that.
This is the way people have changed my life:
Coming alongside and asking challenging questions. Walking with me through my struggles. When they are vulnerable and authentic. When people I respect and care about take time for me I feel important. When people pay for food or groceries and without my prompting or merit. Lifting up areas I never knew I was good at, and encouraging me to continue. Listening more than talking.
This is how people do more harm than good:
Talking at me not with me. Telling me how to live my life. Making sure I know they are right. Making sure I know I am wrong. When someone hides real emotions and puts on a face. Talking more than listening and never asking questions. Making sure you know how much time you have been taking and how important their time is to them.
But I think this is why I am a poor coach.
I had the privilege to coach the sophomore class to a victory yesterday in powder puff. Coaching girls to play football is an underestimated feat. It is always more fun then I realize. Each girl comes with their own knowledge of football, or not. So, we start at zero with some, and continue from last year with others. We figure out who can throw, run, catch, and understand the basics of the game. Then my poor coaching comes into play. I would like the girls to learn, adapt and play for themselves. I try to get the quarterbacks to come up with some plays. I want the lineman…woman to figure out who to block. Then, when it either works and we celebrate, or it fails and I ask questions. What happened? What can we do better? Why is the defense breaking through? Should we double cover number eleven? (cuz she was a beast) But I coach how I would have liked to have been coached.
I have never been called competitive. Winning has never made me grow. But last night felt good. We lost as freshmen, we learned as freshmen, and we won as sophomores. The girls came back stronger, determined, and ready to fight. I was proud of how they had grown, how they had learned, and how they wanted to play. And so I coached a team who was willing, they learned, and they are the ones who got the win!
I am a terrible coach. I would rather come alongside, ask good questions, and have them learn and adjust. So, I like being a bad coach. I will always error on the side of fun and understanding than striving for a win.